Tuesday, June 29, 2004

I am finally over it! No one, except for two people, actually READ my blog...
I feel free, free, free at last, free at last! Ok, so maybe I am going overboard, but you never know when it pays off to be too paranoid. However, now I know that no one is really "watching" this spot will simply be whatever pops into my head... so be careful...don't be offended, or I will simply refer you to this post. It's the "as I am thinking it"... not necessarily, "I'm thinking this applies FOREVER!"
You've all been warned, not that you cared, but this is my notice of my rambling mind!
I am notorious in my bad taste of men, and had an unusual thought tonight (of course, as I sat in my philosophy class!)
Girls, can you imagine dating a philosopher? A man so caught up in defending different truths and perspectives... that you probably would NEVER really find out what he really and truly thought about something? (And even if he really and truly believed it... if someone could convince him otherwise... BING! there he'd go, falling like a tree....)
Wouldn't that make a fun blog?

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Needless to say, I've been having some nightmares lately.
I can't decide if it's stress or maybe just eating too late at night?
But to wake up thinking that flesh eating zombies are after you and somehow, because you're asleep (or technically at this point, HALF asleep), it seems extremely real. And you have to take several deep breaths, and convince yourself, no matter how real that it seems, that it was just a dream.
But for as real as that seemed, I then dreamed that a dear friend of mine died in a plane crash, and even had the privilege of seeing the burning embers of it. I spent most of my dream trying to disprove that they were on the plane, and had to again, wake up and convince myself that it too, was just a dream. (this one was very real, and it took a little longer)
Ok, but the last, and the most convincing one... I'm on vacation with my family and I show up to this house on the water... there's my family, my step-father... and my grinning ex-boyfriend. I just say to my step-father, "out of what crevace did you drag this out from under?" My step-father mumbles some reply and LEAVES me alone with him.
Unfortunately, this is one of THOSE ex-boyfriends, of the lying, slimey kind that you told that you never wanted to speak to him again and you meant it.
Of course, the dream doesn't end there... he practically SPENDS the entire vacation with us, and I have to avoid him. I think my family was probably smoking pot or something to have permitted it... but after all, this was a dream you know?
This last dream left me so pissed off, at my step-father of all people. I mean, I woke up really unhappy with him. It took a good bit before I could let go of that feeling...
So let's see, I think flesh eating monsters are after me, my friend dies, and I'm about to see someone that is going to make me extremely uncomfortable... I think I need to stop eating that ice cream before bed!

Why is it so important to forgive people?
Several girlfriends of mine suggest that it is important that one must be able to forgive to move on. I have been someone for years that has been able to practice this. But now, I have run into something that I can't forgive. I have moments of forgiveness... followed by a complete lack thereof.
I just wonder why this is so gosh-darn important in the overall scheme of things, and how is it really going to overall effect my life?

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

But apparently, have not.
I have alot going on! I mean like work, this class (can you believe that they actually WANT ME to write a paper???) ((I can write about STUFF... go on for paragraphs about different things... but, as my high school AP teacher informed me years ago, "Babe, you beat around the bush... get to the FLIPPIN point." Ok, maybe she wasn't THAT extreme in her speech, but you get the point right?))
The point is (see I did it again, didn't I?), I have a lot going on. I just wanted to stay a little focused... REALLY focused, no distractions, etc.
Well, that didn't happen, I am going back to my cousins already on July 4 weekend.
Silver-tongued bastard. How did he talk me into it?
I know it wasn't the fact that my sister will be there.
I know that it wasn't that my other cousin would be there either.
I'm stump-ed.
Any thoughts? Anyone???

Monday, June 21, 2004

Was to get my long-awaited pedicure. I went determined to actually GET one this time, not to be daunted by a long line or a high price etc etc So, I went to a tried and true establishment just down the road from work, and coincidentally, on the way home.
It, of course, was well worth the wait... but perhaps not worth the look the pedicurist gave me when she raised my foot to look at the bottom of it. Yes, I had Barney Rubble feet (as my friend affectionately calls them... you know how Barney had to make the car go? well... can you imagine how his feet looked?)
For women, I don't have to espouse the wonders of the pedicure... I mean, you just pay someone to rub your feet, AND they end up looking good at the end, what more could you want?
For men... I recommend that you always give your significant this gift... spoil her and you may not be responsible for these chores yourself! (unless of course, you are into that type of thing...) but we won't get into that at this time!
The rest of the weekend was busy, and not terribly relaxing, but it of course had MOMENTS! Next weekend, I vow to do as little as absolutely possible! I have been far too much on the run during my week and need SOME TIME!

I know that you are all dying for an update on my philosophy class... well we had our first "lively discussion". Of course, the hot topic was politics... of course the 9/11 commission... of course, the real reason why Bush attacked in the first place were in dispute due to some of the early reports of the commision. I admit... I was not ready for the gentleman seated behind me to so vehemently say to our teacher, "EXCUSE ME, but I am not finished."
The surprise was not all mine though, the look in the teachers eyes was priceless.
Perhaps we can debate on a less "hot" topic next time, as it seemed that all, when polled, had some very strong opinions on the topic.

Saturday, June 19, 2004

So what is more fun, I ask? The Dog, and the Rabbit took me out for drinks on a school night and it turned out to be later than expected.
I am not a Rabbit, actually, I might be a Pussy, or possibly a Squirrel, but it has yet to be completely agreed upon at this stage. If I was a Rabbit, then perhaps I would have not been tired the next day at school/work... but of course, I was!
I was completely entertained with lots of beautiful men to look at, until I suddenly awoke on the Rabbit/Dog couch at 4AM. Oh well... I was off to home, and bed... and lots of beautful, but gay men to think of.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

at work...
You know, the person that ALWAYS has a comment about everything, and it is usually NEGATIVE. He/she is not the little ray of sunshine that you want to see when you walk in the door... nine times out of ten they aren't even AWAKE until they have had their gallon of coffee and whatever sugar/McDonalds that they brought in (and then they REALLY get on a roll). AND you don't seem to mind if they have the day off, because generally the office is a little quieter.
I often wonder, what service does this person provide to the store... where's the asset? And especially to the customers... because usually if the customer isn't familiar with her/his technique... they may get annoyed, and may even still...
Do the "bosses" really pay attention to what's up?
I suppose that they know better than I, after all, I am not a boss of any sort...

Second class, very interesting, my teacher likes to debate... from his comments, his first class was more lively than we were. I don't get into debating, recently though, a not-to-be-mentioned friend of mine engages me in playful debate... and I do find it fun to stump him (cuz generally he's just pissing me off!) I suppose that in the next few classes, I will get warmed up... I'll keep y'all posted.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

When is it too long to have worked somewhere?
Is it possible that even after coming back from a vacation, you find that are your co-workers WERE as SURLY as you perceived them before you left, it wasn't your imagination.
Is that when you know?
Or is it that silent scream that is building up in the back of your throat, threatening to emerge every time that you open your mouth?
Or when you want to bring in some crazy glue and get creative with those desk dwellers?
Or perhaps... I just really want to be back on vacation ALREADY....
Perhaps to a sunnier, not so wet climate, get some rays, play in the surf, etc etc etc

Monday, June 14, 2004

I cannot believe the amount of rain that I have seen across the east coast in the last ten days.
I have just arrived back from my vacation, a whirlwind tour of family in Virginia and Westerville, OH.
I know that I did indeed see some sun, amidst lots of wet, rainy days.
A winery trip, Strawberry festivals, a trip to the movies with 7 nephews and a niece, a graduation party for my sister, were a few highlights.
I do love to see family, but at the same time, you can't help but reflect on your life, where you were, and where you are now. I am still stunned that it was only (and the fact that it was... ) 15 years ago since I graduated high school and left my father's house. I had big plans, things to do, college to finish. I did, and I began work. And now, I want to change again.

Tonight I had my first class. I haven't been to school in 13 years. It was entertaining, interesting, and just the least bit intimidating. I have HOMEWORK. I have a teacher that is a PHILOSOPHER, and actually refers to himself as such. (for some reason that makes me laugh. Philosopher as a profession... ever see History of the World? Mel Brooks is standing in line for unemployment, when he gets to the head of the line, and she asks his profession... he says "Stand Up Philosopher".. and she says "Yeah, Bullshit artist."
Don't misunderstand me, the dude knows his stuff. Most of the time I could follow what he was talking about!
I have a feeling that this is going to be an interesting summer... I actually get to write ESSAYS!!! whooo-hoooo....

I can't believe that class is over already and I have LOTS to do... many pics to download and get ready to take to the lab tomorrow... a floor full of fur from my kittens... with a conveniently non-operational vacuum cleaner, and even with nothing terribly interesting to say here I am, blogging. Amazing, talk about avoidance!

Soon, more cohesive thoughts!

Monday, June 07, 2004

I am on vacation and had the bright idea to try to see various members of my family in asundry places.
It's hard to spend enough time with everyone, you know, especially the ones that you really want to see. I either need to live closer (contemplating that) or more vacation resources... ae time AND money. (go figure!)
I went to my cousin's house in nowhere, VA first. It's a super cool 150 yr old house that of course in his infinite spare time he fixes up. It's coming along quite nicely (I think) and it's a beautiful space. Plus, the history of the neighborhood is impressive (esp for America). Even though he lives in Cowville, he has amazing friends that are sincerely GOOD people... hard to find in this day and age.
His brother, myself and his friends ran him ragged all weekend, I hope that he was able to get his stuff done b4 work this am.
Now, I am at my sister's, also in VA. I really should have kept the kids today but by the time I had sort of come to this conclusion, mom had them packed off to daycare already.
I don't think that I am going to do anything but hang out here anyway. I just want to chill. Plus I was up till 2 hanging out with a buddy of hers. He must be hating work today!
Ah, back to sleep for me, for the moment. I will spoil myself with a mid-morning nap. I wonder if I can start doing this at work?
We'll find out when I get back next week.

Friday, June 04, 2004

It is late, and although I am tired, I am too keyed up to go to bed.
I have a big day of work, and travel ahead of me. It's my vacation, and I am just going to see family (well not just...), but still I am hyped.
I have packed, and of course it is after midnight as I type, there are, of course, things that only can be done in the am... that bathroom stuff. I need to wake up early, but here I sit, typing away at the computer, inexplicably.
There are, of course, things that I could do. Perishables in the fridge, yeah, I suppose that the tuna won't last 10 days, do you? Or that lime... or the basil, and thyme. Maybe if I can keep this group of plants alive I can rationalize fresh herbs outside on the balcony.
And the cats have already created a fur duplicate of themselves on the rug. They will have another before my friend comes to actually stay the night and sit with them. So, I could vacuum.
MMmmmm, the longer that I think about it, the sleepier I grow. Perhaps THAT is why I am tapping away at the computer.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Hope that everyone had a safe, drink-filled Memorial Day as I did...
Of course, water play was on my agenda, as was sun, and of course a primarily liquid diet... I achieved all, including a bit of a burn as well. That is sunburn... for all that were confused.
I belong to several social clubs, as do we all. I am single, my life is filled with events, friends, work, and of course, my two beloved children, I mean, my cats.
I am on the board of a particular club that deems itself "not a single's club".
Ok, we AREN'T a singles club, but we sure have a lot of single members.
About 98.9% to be accurate. And even if they are not single... they aren't the committed, stay at home and become boring married/boyfriend/girlfriend types.
The officers board, well particular members, bristle at the thought of this... and unfortunately, it comes up in every officers meeting.
I know just as much as EVERYONE else, that we all have interests, and things that we want to participate in without the day to day pressures of having to meet, potentially, the opposite sex. (yeah right!)
*And really, don't we DO things that we are interested in and hope that we will meet OTHERs that like to do those things and GEE!??? isn't it a bonus if they are attractive? and someone we would like to "hang out with more" (to coin the latest phrase for DATING, but not DATING)
So, it's hysterical if we try to promote anything that may seem "singles" oriented... however, our monthly social is much of a trolling fest for the opposite sex... old and new members alike. Perhaps in their minds, our social is the only "singles" type of event that they want to deal with?
Please, talk amongst yourselfs... and COMMENT!