Overtake world

I plan to take over the world by simply getting to the heart of two companies, Hershey's and Lays.
And that's the only hint that anyone gets for now.
Now you get to hear me bitch about my life!
Why the rest of you cavort about, drink, watch Mommy Dearest on the lawn at SOTG, hook up perfectly good friends with other people that you barely know (even though it is widely known of my single-ness, my need to pro-create, etc), and hook up yourselves... I slave.
I slave for this stupid degree that I set out for, and sacrifice my precious summer hours, moments, afternoons and evenings for this. Hola! ?Como esta? Mismo! and the Odyssey, Gilgamesh and the like.
Where is it all taking me you ask?
I pause and answer...
Hopefully, to a more rewarding career! At the sacrifice of my social life of course.
I haven't had a boyfriend in years. I haven't even dated in a year. I can't begin to remember the last time that I actually HAD sex.
I gave it all up, because I really believed that I wasn't attracted to the proper sort you see.
Now I can't seem to say hello to a telephone pole.
Please forward all dating advice to the comments section of the blog.
I mean, I'm not dog ugly, even if my "gay name" is the Shitzu Bitch. I think that generally has something to do with my hair and sort of quietly aggressive behavior, but I could be wrong.
Let's consult the magic eight ball...
"Magic 8 ball, will I have sex before the year 2006?"
Picks up ball tenderly (perhaps that will affect the answer?), and shakes... firmly, yet gently.
Magic 8 ball, "Better not tell you now."
DOH!
Well, we'll give it a moment or three to rest, whilst we consume a beer or three...
Go figure!
Well, it just goes to show that even in the old legends occasionally the hero would have to NOT listen to the gods and create his own fate. (Did I mention that he/she usually ended up dead?)
But perhaps when there aren't any rules left and you know that you have nothing really to fear, like tax evasion, bankruptcy, repossession, etc....
I keep thinking that "this year" will be my year!
I will get THE JOB, meet THE MAN, and finally sail off into the sunset.
Did I mention that I like movies too?
Perhaps you could tell from my unrealistic view of the world.